The nature of Interpersonal Relationships
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The nature of interpersonal relationships is dynamic and inherently unstable - or so postulates social penetration theory advocate M. L. Knapp in his description of the "Stages of Coming Together and Coming Apart" (1992, pp. 29-61). Despite the fact that he preludes his descriptive model with a disclaimer - "we should resist the normal temptation to perceive the stages of coming together as 'good' and those of coming apart as 'bad'" (1992, p. 31) - Dr. Knapp finds the entire process of interpersonal relationships to be one of cosmic, predestined failure: "As with any system, we are constantly fighting the law of nature, which says that all things move toward disintegration and death" (1992, p. 54). Nevertheless, this gloomy predictability of his forecast for the human condition aside, the model of "stages" that Knapp proposes is attractive in many ways. The primary attraction is that it provides a reasonably focussed approach to the easily-distracted examination of the communication that takes place within the context of one-to-one interpersonal relationships. Beyond that, in this current writer's efforts at analyzing an interpersonal relationship, the descriptive qualities of the social penetration theory as expostulated in Knapp's model certainly seem to be applicable to the case at hand. That case involves the evolving relationship between a twenty-four-year-old African-American male, a college student, and an African-American female of the same age wh
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[6] It is no surprise to anyone when John and Mary announce their engagement - with the wedding to take place in a half year, after his graduation.
[7] John's need to finish his education by a definite deadline now requires him to take on more classes than usual. He cuts back on work hours, with financial help from Mary, but his free time is more preoccupied with study than before. This leads to increasingly frequent discomfort between John and Mary, as he disrupts the regular flow of togetherness with "This is what I need to do" pronouncements. He tries to engage Mary into participating in his studies - he is a business major - but she is disinterested. In fact, she makes it clear to John, she is perfectly willing to keep at her current job without advancement, something he cannot accept. More arguments ensue when John judges Mary to be "too lazy to do anything for yourself". She counters with the "obvious fact" that she is working to pay for his studies.
[8] Within a very short time, John and Mary learn to avoid the school/work topics altogether. Besides, when he's at their house - or they are together in the wedding couple's circle - John and Mary easily fall into their old patterns of familiarity, often talking
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Approximate Word count = 4626
Approximate Pages = 19 (250 words per page)
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