Last week, Deborah and her 17-year-old teenage daughter, Tiffany, came to therapy for the first time. Over the last year, Deborah had become increasingly concerned about Tiffany's decrease in communication with her. Even though Tiffany met her curfews, she went to places without letting Deborah know her whereabouts. Tiffany also refused to discuss important issues such as her plans after graduation. Whenever Deborah asked Tiffany what she planned to do after graduation, Tiffany simply dismissed her mother by saying: "It's none of your business, I am taking care of it." Whenever she was home, Tiffany spent most of her time after school, locked up in her bedroom, where she either watched television or surfed on the Internet.
During the therapy session, Deborah expressed her concern about Tiffany's future after high school graduation. Since Tiffany had not been talking to her, Deborah was worried that her daughter had not formulated any plans for her future. She did not want Tiffany to remain dependent on her, even after high school graduation. Thus, Deborah was very frustrated that Tiffany refused to talk to her about her future plans and her interests. Even though they were living in the same house, Deborah felt as though they were becoming two strangers who were simply sharing a common space.
While Tiffany was reluctant to express her thoughts during the session, I was able to elicit her perceptions about her mother's point of view with a deconstruction question (Freedman & Combs, 1996): "Do you think your mother's description of both of you as two strangers sharing a common space is an accurate reflection of the situation?" In response to this question, Tiffany offered her own version of the home situation. Tiffany explained that she had once shared a close relationship with her mother who is a single mother. However, since she turned 16, Tiffany had felt crushed by her mother's need to control her life and know eve...