Personal History & Bowen's Family Systems

My Mother (Beverly) and Father (Edward) seemed happy during the first 7 years of their marriage. Father liked making major decisions and Mother felt comforted by his control. When I (Kim) was 11 years old, Mother conceived again but during the pregnancy she was nauseous, developed high blood pressure and gained over 50 pounds. As the pregnancy progressed, Mother talked incessantly to Father about her insecurities of becoming a mother again and not feeling health. At first, Father was patient and reassuring, but soon he began to criticize Mother for being childish and irritable. According to Bowen, this represents an unstable parent system (Bowen Center for the Study of the Family, 2004).

Mother's pregnancy placed more pressure on her marital relationship. Sometimes, Father was outwardly supportive of Mother but his negative comments made her feel more anxious and sad. Next, Father grew more emotional distance from Mother and started working long hours at work and coming home late at night. With this increased

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n Center for the Study of the Family, 2004, p. 1). In the above paragraphs of the story, the basic relationship patterns include, what Bowen refers to as a secret. This is pattern that refers to information being available to, and shared by, only a select few people in the overall family system. As with my family, secret information is communicated in a covert manner and concerns family members who are not present (Bowen Center for the Study of the Family, 2004). Bowen refers to the "nuclear family emotional system" ((Bowen Center for the Study of the Family, 2004, p. 1), which includes four relationship patterns: marital conflict; dysfunction in one spouse; impairment of one or more children; and emotional distance (Bowen Center for the Study of the Family, 2004). These patterns are demonstrated by my family. When Father did come home, my parents argued continually. Many times, I would over hear them arguing. Mother would blame Father for making her unhappy and Father would say that he stayed away from home because of her complaining. Two weeks later after this argument, Mother had the baby, a beautiful baby girl. At home sometimes Mother appeared happy. Anytime father would come late, she did not say anything to him, n
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Approximate Word count = 2341
Approximate Pages = 9 (250 words per page)

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