Issues on Death and Dying
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In comparing and contrasting these two books - Dying Well and On Death and Dying - what is immediately apparent is that these books are complementary, rather than contradictory. They both focus on the individual process of dying, while they both find that there are common or typical issues that face dying individuals and their family members. Both emphasize that growth can occur through the process, and that people can die well if they are willing to go through the process with open minds and hearts. There are many other similarities and certainly some differences in their focus, and the lessons the authors drew from their experiences. The similarities are quite striking. Both of these authors seem to be very compassionate in their approach to dying people and their families, although they also indicate that this was not always the case. Instead, they note that there was a time when they were less aware, but that they gradually became focused on issues of death and dying well for their patients. Byock became active through the hospice movement, his awareness blasted open through his father's death, though obviously he had seen the problems of the dying regularly as a doctor. His father's death pushed him over some edge, however, into understanding death from the point of view of the patient and the family member's of the patient. He was able to extrapolate from his experience to other people's experience of th
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God that he would never smoke or drink again if only his diagnosis of terminal lung cancer proved to be a mistake.
After these stages, people often entered anger, where many people remained for some time, including until their deaths. In this anger stage, people fought with their loved ones and tended to drive people away with their rage at their loss and their unwillingness to come to terms with it.
Kubler -Ross (1997) initially termed the fourth stage of the process depression, but I like Byock's (1990) use of the term grief better. Although these do have different meanings, essentially this is the stage when people allow themselves to recognize their immediate and impending losses, sometimes sinking into depression and despair. When they are able to feel their sadness and grieve the losses, letting those feelings pass through, then they are able to pass into the fifth stage of the process, which is acceptance.
It is this acceptance stage in the Kubler-Ross (1997) model which seems most analogous to Byock's (1990) idea of dying well. The individual has been able to come to terms with the finality of his or her situation and gain some sense of closure and peace.
Where Byock (1990) extended the discussion is in his focu
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Approximate Word count = 1495
Approximate Pages = 6 (250 words per page)
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