In-Law Problem Intervention

The following intervention was designed for a couple with an "in-law" problem. The couple was Hispanic and had been married for 20 years. They came to therapy due to a problem with the husband's mother who currently resided with the couple and their family. The couple's two teenage daughters also lived in the home. The wife reported feeling frustrated and angry because the mother in-law was living with them and the husband reported feeling frustrated and angry at his wife's "constant complaining" about the situation. Further conversation with the couple revealed that they each felt that it was appropriate that the mother live with them, but that it resulted in problems that they were having difficulty overcoming. The most prominent problem reported was that the wife felt criticized by the mother in-law and not supported by her husband. Since both were in agreement that the mother should stay, the problem proposed was viewed as solvable rather than gridlock.

1. As a precaution to avoid anger buildup and assist in the dissipation of hurt feelings, Step 1 will begin with an adaptation of Gottman's exercise "I Appreciate . . .". Each (husband and wife) will be given a list of items and asked to circle items which are characteristic of their partner. Three of the items will then be chosen and an incident will be listed to provide an illustration of this characteristic. Next the list will b

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essfully so far?" and "What areas of the conflict remain?" Next the couple will get together and read over each other's responses. They will then discuss what can be done to increase the support they are receiving from each other. During this process the softening technique will be continued, to avoid the reliance on defensive strategies and the building additional anger and resentment. Theoretical Rationale Weingarten (1991) pointed out that researchers have found that men and women have different impressions regarding relationships and that these views are reflected in their daily lives. However, it is also noted that while men and women may differ, they are equally able to participate in an intimate relationship. The author also stated that intimacy is a relational process and it is stage-based. Thus when people marry, they begin the process of becoming close and this includes the development and resolution of problems and adjustments and changes needed. Gottman (1999) further pointed out that there are two kinds of marital conflict that require resolution. Most marital conflicts are perpetual, such as one partner wanting a child and the other not wanting one, one partner wanting more sex than the other, religious di
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Approximate Word count = 1222
Approximate Pages = 5 (250 words per page)

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