Parenting Although our society does not necessar

 
 
 
 
Although our society does not necessarily view it so, I think the decision to become a parent is one of the most serious decisions that an adult can make. It is a large, enduring responsibility of many years to undertake the nurturing, shaping, and cultivation of another human being. It is my opinion that too many couples undertake the task of parenting too casually, often for conventional reasons--the time seems right, it would please the in-laws, or our friends are doing it.

Several considerations come to the forefront in deciding to become a parent: timing, expectations, goals, and adjustments. In order to be functional parents, the two individuals must themselves be grown up. That is, a reasonable amount of maturity must have been achieved in mastering life's adult developmental tasks before a child can be expected to find a healthy environment within that marriage and family. Both parents must be reasonably content with themselves and their life choices. If one or the other expects the baby to make them happy, there will be trouble for every member of the family. There must be adequate financial support so that the child's basic needs are met without difficulty.

The media and surrounding society convey little information about the true nature of parenting. Potential parents who have on-going experiences around other children have a greater chance of feeling realistic expectations about the nature of child-rearing. Responsibilities with siblings, n


     
 
 
 
    

 

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e mother and father is the best route for loving communication with children. They will absorb, almost by osmosis, the real emotional atmosphere of the home, the actual undercurrents reflected in tone of voice and body language more than actual words. It is so important that children be supported in their perceptions of the world around them. They need to be taught the truth about life as it is as lived by valuable, dignified individuals, regardless of how young the age. Even the littlest child can be given a simple, helpful task to do while shopping, for instance, which does so much to prevent acting-out and tantrums from boredom or exhaustion. A child can be asked to remember the location of the car in the parking lot, to hold a box of cereal while riding in the shopping cart, or to help the shopping parent remember to buy a particular type of juice. Conversations with children should always treat the little ones with the same dignity as any other person. It is so easy to forget that communication must be two ways in child-parent conversations. It is not automatic to realize that children have very real feelings and preferences at a young age which may directly oppose those of the parents. A home environment that fost

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