The goal of the protagonist in Edith Wharton's House of Mirth is marriage, but she sees marriage not as an end in itself but as the means to achieve a certain social status by the acquisition of money. Marriage in the upper crust society to which she aspires is the way for a woman without money to gain position. Indeed, marriage is more often a means of acquiring or merging fortunes than it is a question of love. Lily Bart represents this view perfectly in that she is torn between two loves, one a rich man she does not love, and the other a poor man she does. The one she plans to marry is the one with the money, for social position is far more important to her than human feelings. She may have some reason for feeling this way, given the fact that she is an orphan who has been given what she sees as handouts by her aunt her whole life and who would like to achieve a position of greater leisure and independence. Lily at the beginning of the novel is 29 years of age, and by that age in her era a woman was expected to be married. She now views herself as merchandise to be sold to the best bidder.
Selden is the man she really loves and would marry if he had money, which he does not. When they first meet, she tells him that a man may and a woman must marry for money. She makes a strong case for why women have to think differently than men in this society--men without money are accepted and women are not. Marriage is treated in this social setting as a partnership, with the woman providing her beauty and the man providing the clothes.
The Trenors are rich friends who give Lily entrTe into society. Mrs. Trenor sees Lily as a young woman in need of guidance, while Mr. Trenor gives her money. Mr. Dorset tries to seduce her, and Mrs. Dorset tells everyone about it. Even though he fails, everyone believes he has succeeded, which destroys any hopes she might have had for a marriage in that social circle.
Lily can be descr...