Biblical Perspectie of Counseling Couples The purpose of this paper is to di

To my way of thinking, the non-Christian approach to marriage counseling is well summarized by Peterson and Nisenholz (1994) who state that most marriage counseling is seen as a problem-focused and brief endeavor in which the emphasis is placed upon patterns of communication, expectations each person has of the other, role perceptions, each individual's personality, and how the couple functions together as a working unit in dealing with problems and making decisions.

Peterson and Nisenholz's (1994) description of the essential focus of counseling, as seen from a secular perspective, implies that a marriage is a relationship between two people and that the goal is for the couple to deal with or work through their issues. This perspective, I feel, qualitatively differs from the Christian perspective which would hold that marriage is a relationship not among two but among three, namely the three way relationship of the couple and God.

In other words, marital problems are not about what you want and what I want, nor is the "cure" for us to just hear each other and work through our differences. It is about what God wants for us in light of how He defines the marital unit; it is about w

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include instrument or assessment interviews that provide information not only about psychoemotional status, communicative interaction, and so forth but also about the spiritual dimension of the couple's life. This assessment might include answers to such questions as: Who is Christ to this couple? What do they believe He desires for their marriage? Are their thoughts about God and marriage in accord with bible views? How often do they read the bible, both individually and as a family? Regarding techniques to be used in Christian counseling, I feel that most, if not all, secular techniques would be useful. The primary concern here is to make sure that selected techniques do not work in a manner that is opposite Christian beliefs and values. For example, ego autonomy (self-directed behavior and values) is highly valued in secular psychology and many techniques have been developed to foster ego autonomy in the therapeutic situation (Samuel, 1993). However, the goal of the Christian is not ego autonomy but rather the ability to put the ego aside and follow one's inner lead from God. Therefore, techniques or strategies that are useful for building ego autonomy most probably would not be helpful to the Christian counselor.
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