Critical Observation: Marital Conflicts
In observing older members of my family, I have become aware of the martial conflicts of an aunt and uncle, a couple who have been married to one another for over thirty years and whose marriage is characterized by other family members as ôdysfunctional.ö This brief essay will describe the behavior of this couple and its effects. The essay will also discuss how the study of social psychology and observational research methods could be useful in learning more about the kinds of behavior that were observed in the couple.
The couple, ôBobö and Mary,ö appear to have little on common despite a three-decade-long marriage and having raised three children; they currently have six grandchildren as well. The couple are both given to public fighting, particularly when they are consuming alcoholic beverages. Bob has been accused by Mary of wife beating, of frequent infidelity and of indifference. Mary has been accused (also publicly0 of being irrational, spending too much money on foolish things, of lying, and of ônagging.ö As Baron and Byrne (2000) have pointed out, this is a couple for whom public displays of anger and animosity are a means of communication. Indeed, there have been few family gatherings (many occurring at holidays) when Bob and MaryÆs public displays of temper have not disrupted the dayÆs events.
In observing Bob and Mary over time, it has become clear that they are very different individuals with different needs, interests and desires. Mary is a woman who places great importance on public shows of affection and admiration; Bob, in contrast, is less demonstrative and more withdrawn. Research suggests that most satisfactorily married couples share more in terms of attitudes, values and interests as well as other attributes than not (Baron & Byrne, 2000; Coleman, 19990).
Couples whose basic needs and expectations regarding marriage, love and companionship ...