Emotions at the End of Relationships

Betty Risteen Hasselkus and Andrea LaBelle (1998, March) write, "When telling a narrative, we structure experiences into beginnings, middles, and endings . . . Without an intelligible

ending, the story lacks wholeness and a satisfying completion" (p. 17). Endings are a natural part of the emotional cycle of human interaction. They provide closure. While they may include painful emotions, they can also be a positive experience by giving satisfactory completion to a relationship.

Human beings form relationships for a variety of reasons. They may be drawn to one another by feelings of attraction or shared interests. Often, humans establish connections in response to an emotional reaction to another individual. Lee Scheingold (2001) "Feelings (emotions) are inner experiences of mood . . . Emotions can push human beings toward action" (p. 2115), and such actions can include initiating a friendship or starting a romantic relationship.

In some circumstances, however, relationships do not begin with emotional connections but because of a desire to achie

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respond with these difficult emotions. Scheingold (2001) observes, "Feelings give people a sense of who they are" (p. 2116). This self-definition has an influence on the kind of emotions generated by endings, both in determining the kinds of emotions an individual is likely to experience and in predicting the effect those feelings will have on the affected human. A person whose parents had a happy marriage and who subsequently becomes involved in a bitter divorce may either experience even deeper feelings of guilt and inadequacy than someone without such reference points. On the other hand, if that individual has developed a strong sense of self-worth and an ability to accurately evaluate his or her own emotions, the reaction may be significantly less negative. When individuals view the ending of a relationship as an opportunity to learn and grow, the resulting emotions can be quite positive. As Walsh and Meyersohn (2001, August) write, "Natural feelings of satisfaction may include pride in accomplishments, an appreciation of the relationship, and excitement about the capacity for other attachments" (p. 193). Hasselkus and LaBelle (1998, March) studied the effects of the ending of day care on staff working with elderly patie
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Approximate Word count = 1521
Approximate Pages = 6 (250 words per page)

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