As a young mother living in Atlanta, my familyÆs immigration from Pakistan presented us with a number of challenges. While we long to remain close to our heritage and culture, we also desire to integrate with mainstream American society. This dualistic challenge has often created tension in our family, since we speak, dress, and look different than Americans. My mother-in-law, Fatima, traveled with us to the U.S. Fatima represented the glue that held our family together as we struggled to integrate into American culture and society. Fatima considered herself a cook without peer, often telling us ôOur lives are not in the laps of the gods, but in the lap of our cooks.ö One of FatimaÆs favorite dishes to make was a common Pakistani food known as Samosas. Samosas are delicious bubbly pastries that are filled with any number of fillings like cardamom, potatoes, peas and others.
One day I had experienced a particularly hurtful exchange with an American employer who seemed to look down on me since I was a ôforeigner.ö During my interview for a job I really needed, she looked at my traditional Pakistani garb and made a clicking sound with her mouth. ôI assume you will wear appropriate office attire, should you get this position,ö she told me. I explained to her that, of course, I would wear appropriate clothes to work. I felt very small and was happy the interview was coming to a close when she said, ôI will let you know when we make our decisions, but please donÆt come back dressed like that.ö
I left her office quite shaken. I felt very small and alone. My dress was perfectly fine considered from my own background and experiences. However, when I stopped in the restroom before leaving the building I took a long hard look in the mirror. Would I ever fit in to the American lifestyle or culture? Did I have to abandon everything about my own culture and lifestyle to do so? If I did change, what wo
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