Marriage Alternative Lifestyles

Marriage, Family & Alternative Lifestyles

According to the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), the likelihood of new marriages ending in divorce is nearly one-in-two or 43%, (Divorce 2003). While 2,384,000 marriages occurred in the U.S. in 1997, that same year 1,163,000 divorces were granted (Divorce 2003). A family has traditionally been defined in the U.S. as a male and female couple with their own children, sharing a common dwelling and dividing duties based on gender. Because of high numbers of divorces, a rise in single-parent households, the rise in gay unions and gay couples adopting children, and new technologies that enable women to have children without necessarily being with a male have undermined the traditional definition of marriage and family in the U.S. Today, few American families fit the definition of a traditional American family offered above. Hare and Gray (1994) report that as of the 1990 Census, "only 16 percent of all American families comprised the so-called typical American family, that is, a married couple who are the biological parents of two children, where the father works outside the home and the mother is a homemaker," (1). Like the people in them, today's marriages and families are diverse.

From adoption and surrogate parenting to increasing rates of remarriage and same-sex parents, the number of diverse family constellations and marriage in U.S. society continues to grow. Such constellations o

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parent figure. Experts caution that partners should not force children to accept the new partner as "mother" or "father" unless the process occurs naturally. As Professor Billingham maintains, "Often, the new person tries to become the child's father or mother, and this frequently has disastrous results" (Blended 2003, 60). However, when the process occurs naturally stepfamilies offer children the love, acceptance, and caring of two adult parental figures. The same is true for sibling companionship. Single children of single parents often find love and acceptance with new stepbrothers and stepsisters in a blended family. Once more, however, such benefits will only accrue to members of the stepfamily when the unique challenges associated with such constellations are successfully met. For example, compromises and new resolutions must be made when parenting styles or rules of behavior are dramatically different between each family. As Hornik (2001) explains, "Children in blended families can be thrown into an environment with rules and habits totally alien to them," (31). In addition to stepfamilies and remarriages, there are a growing number of other forms of "marriage" and family constellations in the U.S. Hare and Gray (

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