For several decades, researchers have proposed various theories to answer the perennial question of why people choose specific individuals as their mates. To explore this issue, this paper will first present a qualitative review of the literature on the different mate selection theories. Moreover, the findings of the interviews conducted with six couples based on their perceptions of the underlying reasons for their attraction to their partners will be conducted. Using the combined evidence derived from the findings of these interviews, as well as additional research from the literature on this topic, the best theory that explains the phenomenon of mate selection will be determined.
Although many theories have been generated about mate selection, they can be grouped under four primary categories: "psychodynamic theories, needs theories, exchange theories, and developmental process theories" ("Cohabitation and Mate Selection"). In the following section, the theories under each of the categories will be examined individually.
The psychodynamic perspective of mate selection is represented by the parent image theory and the ideal mate theory. The parent image theory states that men are likely to select mates who are similar to their mothers, while women tend to choose mates who resemble their fathers ("Cohabitation and Mate Selection"). This theory is derived from Freud's psychoanalytic description of love that is based on an individual's sexual drive. As pointed out by Freud, an individual's love and sexuality originates from the infancy period when the individual's "first love object is the mother" (qtd. in "Psychological Theories about the Dynamics of Love (I)"). In the same way that the infant derives nourishment and sexual pleasure from the mother, he will also turn to his adult lover for the same support and sexual pleasure. With regard to females, the object of love becomes the father at a later stage. In summary...