wrong to them. When they rise above these feelings and forgive their parents and themselves, they often experience greater power and control over their own lives.
(5) Accepting the permanence of the divorce. For some youngsters, the fantasy of reconciliation persists for years, continuing even after both parents remarry. Children who were quite young when their parents separated may wait until they achieve the psychological separation from their parents characteristic of adolescence or early adulthood before they let go of this fantasy.
(6) Achieving realistic hope regarding relationships. Although some children appear to have come through a divorce relatively well, they can have a deep subconscious fear of intimate relationships because they are afraid they will fail as their parents did. This fear can be accompanied by feelings of depression or a tendency to view relationships from a cynical perspective. In others the fear may be expressed as doubt about the possibility of their being able to find lasting love.
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