This paper examines the place that money occupies in my own belief system. Money allows us all to provide for our well-being and material support. It is also one of the most emotionally charged issues in American society. Money is surrounded by myths, mysteries, and complex feelings, and, while I have, to a certain extent, been able to distill and contain my emotions about it, it still has the ability to trigger unrealistic reactions in me. For me, money serves two important purposes. First, it represents the ability to live the life that I want and to be self-sufficient. It also provides an indication of where I am in my life, compared with where I want to be.
Sarah and Paul Edwards write, "What you think about money matters . . . The way you view money often determines how much of it you'll have, how difficult it will be to obtain, how you'll feel about the amount you make" (53). They outline eight common dysfunctional attitudes about money, including feelings that money is everything, money is evil, money is embarrassing, money is a mystery, money is automatic or hard to come by or limited or must be earned through misery. Money represents so many things to so many different people, representations that are derived from family influences, social forces, and the basic need for at least a minimal amount of money in order to live.
I first became aware of money when my parents began giving me an allowance. I remember hoarding shiny quarters in a jewelry box, trying to decide whether or not to save my money for a single, important purchase or blow it all on the little extravagances that seemed to tempt me constantly.
My first job was as a babysitter, and I still remember the thrill of earning money. Although my allowance was supposed to be earned in exchange for chores around the house, my parents rarely withheld me weekly gift. Babysitting money was another matter. I performed a specific job, contracting with ...