Sibling Bereavement Support Groups

The Dougy Center in Portland, Oregon (3909 S. E. 52nd, Portland, Oregon 97206, (503) 775-5683), is one such counseling group which works with bereaved siblings. In 1982, the Dougy Center offered its first support group, for children living with a recent loss. More than a decade later, the center's comfortable frame house now houses seven full-time staff members and twenty-six support groups. More than 150 volunteers extend the professional social workers' and psychologists' work.

Children are assigned to a support group of other children their age. Each group will have eight to fifteen children, one professional staff member, and enough volunteers to maintain a one-to-four ratio. This generous ratio means that children will have someone with them as they move around the house according to their needs: from the talking room, to a painting area, to the volcano room (lined in carpet and padding, and containing a giant hanging punching bag), to typewriters and computers where they can write a letter to the person who died.

The Dougy Center operates from the following four principals: (1.) Grief is a natural and expectable response to loss; (2.) Each person c

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dren. They remember the times when they fought and argued with the dead sibling. They recall their anger and jealousy. They may question, "Is death a punishment for my being bad?" Surviving siblings may also feel guilt for being the ones to survive; and (3.) Younger siblings may expect to die when they reach the same age as their deceased sibling. They may assume a babyish behavior so as to magically prevent themselves from growing old and dying. Adults should say again and again, "You are fine. there is nothing wrong with you. You do not have the disease that caused your brother's/sister's death." Organizations which have started sibling bereavement support groups include schools, religious groups, and health care providers. Groups especially for adolescents exist also. One of the earliest of these was established in 1979 in a school district in Mississauga, Ontario (a suburb of Toronto). Another program called Teen Age Grief, Inc. (P.O. Box 4935, Panorama City, CA 91412-4935, at (805) 254-1501) has helped establish school-based programs in California. The Dougy Center also has a full range of programs for adolescents. Within these nonjudgemental, mutual aid, self-help groups, adolescents can share their grief and
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