wever, I have been able to make use of my brothers and cousins to give myself power even though I have no children, and indeed, maybe the fact that I have no children has left me stronger than the other women who are worn out from childbirth. I take pride in the fact that everyone knows I am the one truly in charge of our land and our goods and that our success is because of my efforts.
Once my husband, Khorshid, died, though, my situation became more difficult. I thought this over and weighed the possibilities. I seemed younger than my years, but finding a husband would be difficult at best. I knew that if I married again, I would have to sell the vineyards and orchards and give the money to my new husband. This would certainly undercut the power I had achieved and could still exercise with Khorshid's partners. Still, I have had to be careful because Khorshid did not work the land himself and lost the work of many nephews and such who moved away to find better jobs, while the partners have many children who do the work and come to view the land as theirs even if it is not. I found ways to make myself independent by loaning out money, but I can never let my guard down and must assure that I maintain a position in the family even though I k
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