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Essay on Drug Abuse

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After I left the process of studying for the priesthood, and eventually left the Catholic Church, I went through great struggles. As I said in an earlier paper, I did not know who I was or who I was supposed to be. I no longer had anyone providing me with structure. I had not developed a sense of my own identity in terms of either vocation or relationship. I felt like a failure. I felt that since I had failed at celibacy, I might as well indulge myself in other ways. I began to experiment - this was a different type of active experimentation than the kind in the Kolb model. This was the kind of experimentation in which a person is lost and desperate, trying anything and everything in order to find a sense of peace and belonging.

As a consequence, I began to get myself into trouble. I tried different kinds of drugs, and alcohol was a constant in my life. I visited wild clubs with wild people, and did not have a good sense of who my friends are or what I needed in terms of relationships. My old friends, those who had been in the priesthood, that process, or were either in the Catholic or Baptist church, no longer seemed available to me. I felt betrayed and abandoned. My new friends seemed unlikely to abandon me, since they were as desperate as I was myself. They were people who were lost, much like myself, rather than ordinary social drinkers. For some, the experiments did not result in a lifestyle that included substance a

. . .
bservations My feelings and thoughts during the early part of the treatment process were very mixed. I was resentful at being there. I did not feel like I was a real alcoholic, like many of the other people I had seen who had been in jail and done real damage with their lives. I still believed that I would eventually have managed to control my drinking and live like a normal person. I felt like my family had sold me out. I thought about the intervention frequently and came up with answers to their complaints that I had not been able to think of at the time. I tried to dismiss, or deny, the intervention, in the same way that I had tried to dismiss the idea that I had an alcohol problem when I was dealing with it alone. I also felt superior to most of the people there. After all, I had studied spirituality. My concept of God was much more refined and sophisticated than most of the concepts I heard. I also resented being forced to become "spiritual" feeling like I had already done that and it had not worked out well for me. I did gradually begin to notice that there was a familiarity to the stories of the people that I was with. There were a number of trends or similar patterns. None of us had intended to become alc
. . .

Some common words found in the essay are:
Alcoholics Anonymous, Project MATCH, Approach People, Experience AA, Vaillant Vaillant, Gutman Clayton, Americans AA, Chappel DuPont, Buddhism Hinduism, Americans Eskimos, substance abuse, humphreys 1999, abstract concepts, alcohol drugs, treatment centers, active experimentation, treatment center, aa program, own experience, self-help programs, people trying control, chappel dupont 1999, seen people aa, tried control drinking, gutman clayton 1999,
Approximate Word count = 6579
Approximate Pages = 26 (250 words per page)

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