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Learning about Death and Dying

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I imagine that the real learning about death and dying consists of going through the dying process itself, because the rest of us are just observers. We read about what people experience, or we watch as those we love struggle to survive, and then let go. I think the real learning that I have gained through my work and my life is that of the participant-observer in the process of experiencing other people's deaths in preparation for my own. Yet, death still remains a mystery to us, even with our models of dying, and our stages of grief, and our attempts to manage to arrange for people to have good and pain-free deaths. Death still remains huge and beyond our grasp.

There is no one central theme or issue that I would identify. Instead, there are a cluster of themes that deserve more exploration or reiteration.

Pain management. Although this was not a major focus of Kubler-Ross in her original work, it has become one of the most important issues in the death and dying community, and in the hospice movement. The bereavement counselor I interviewed, who was with New York Hospice, noted that New York Hospice specialized in pain management. She said that they were knowledgeable about the kinds of medications that were effective for relieving the pain of the different kinds of illnesses people suffered from. This was one of the focuses of their work.

Byock (1990), too, emphasized pain management

. . .
), the good death is perhaps more patterned than that Byock discussed. She found that there were several stages that people naturally passed through -- although I did not see that in the book by Broyard -- and that the good death was one in which people moved through each of these stages to a true acceptance. Acceptance does not necessarily mean that people feel happy about dying, or that it is all right for them to die. Acceptance means that people have acknowledged the reality of the situation to themselves and have come to terms with it. Acceptance means that the individual is able to set their life in order and turn toward the next stage, which is unknown. For Kubler-Ross, this means that people often turn inward and away from family and friends as they prepare themselves for making the transition. They may not be as accessible. In this respect, there are some real differences in Kubler-Ross' concept of the good death, and Byock's idea of dying well. Byock's idea seems more extroverted, involving completing relationships and being involved with family and friends. Kubler-Ross' idea seems more focused on the spiritual aspects of dying, although that was not her first emphasis. Still, it seems as though she was talki
. . .

Some common words found in the essay are:
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Approximate Word count = 2616
Approximate Pages = 10 (250 words per page)

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