The Elements of Conversation

Tannen notes that our personal worlds are shaped by conversation with people we know and also in public with people we encounter in the course of a day. She notes that the nature of the exchanges we have during the day shapes the way we view life and our place in it, whether we see the world as a pleasant or a hostile place, and whether we believe we are doing well or not. She also notes that no matter how well intentioned we may be, we find ourselves involved in miscommunications because the methods by which we communicate are personal and not self-evident and logical. These miscommunications may be apparent

. . .
certain conventions in speech and manner. The effect is to constrain choice to a degree so that the course of a conversation is kept within certain parameters. Tannen does not disagree but extends her argument to show how Grice's rules of politeness are too constraining and how in any case they do not explain the nature of the metamessage. For one thing, Tannen finds that in conversation as in other elements of life we juggle our needs for involvement and independence, needs which shape the message we convey and the manner in which we convey it: If what we mean shows involvement, we want to temper it to show we're not imposing. If what we mean shows distance, we want to temper it with involvement to show we're not rejecting (Tannen 35). Kellerman indicates the same general idea when citing Brown and Levinson on Politeness Theory, but this approach couches the issue in terms not of balancing independence and involvement but in terms of preserving the personal feeling of independence or involvement, what Brown and Levinson call "face." They note that it is not only vital to us to preserve our own face but also important to maintain the face of others. One of the reasons this is important to remember is that interaction with
. . .

Some common words found in the essay are:
Robin Lakoff, That's Meant, Kellerman Grice's, , Brown Levinson, Politeness Theory, HP Grice, independence involvement, York Ballantine, Deborah Tannen, conversational style, tannen addresses, interaction typically, message metamessage, information conveyed, that's meant, power solidarity, personal relations, elements conversation,
Approximate Word count = 1490
Approximate Pages = 6 (250 words per page)

More Essays on The Elements of Conversation