and I have found the church to be a source of fellowship and support as well.
Now all of this seems like a picture-perfect childhood and family life, and for my basic childhood that was pretty much the case. But it turned out that we kids didn't actually have the whole picture of our parents' marriage. When I was in high school (age 15), my parents got a divorce. That was kind of unusual at the time, especially for people in our religion. But my father was there at home one day, and the next he was simply gone. To this day I do not know exactly why he left, or the details of what my father and mother actually said to each other at the time. But I have thought over the years that it could have had a lot to do with the fact that Mother believed more in civil rights than he did and was more active in the church than he wanted her to be--and that he resented her being gone from home on church matters so much and having to baby-sit the younger ones.
His leaving the house forever changed everything for the family. For me, the whole matter was a complete surprise, and instantly, my lifestyle was completely changed. First of course there was the loss of my father's companionship at home, whether at the dinner table or during other family times. Next, there was loss of the closeness that I always had thought (wrongly) our family had. This got more complicated when my mother's and my father's relatives took sides in the divorce, and there were hurt feelings all around.
Next, there were practical changes at home. For the first time in my memory that first year, the family did not go on vacation. But the reason I remember this is not because we missed out on a trip. The reasons were both material and emotional. Partly it was because money was suddenly very tight, but it was more because of the fact that Mother was so emotional and because there was no original family unit to make the vacation fun.
Even though I was going into my last y...