Pastoral Marriage Counseling

Marriage is viewed by Christians as a Sacred vow, one in which, before God, couples commit their lives to each other for better or worse. In Marriage Counseling: A Christian Approach to Counseling Couples, Everett L. Worthington, Jr. (1989), a Christian pastoral counselor, maintains that quite often the conditions in the marriage relationship are "worse" than "better." The statistics on divorce in the United States provide ample evidence of Worthington's claim. Since the 1980s, fifty percent or one out of every two marriages in the U.S. ended in divorce, while sixty-five percent of all second or subsequent marriages end in divorce, (Worthington, 1989, p. 17).

It is not so much the institution of marriage that is suffering from crisis in American society as much as the "permanence" of marriages between individuals, (Worthington, 1989, p. 17). For Christian couples who view Scripture as authoritative, any alternative to divorce is often sought before permitting marital breakup. Despite devout beliefs and faith in God and Scripture, Worthington (1989, p. 18) maintains that "Christians are not immune to this crisis in commitment to marriage sweeping through contemporary society." This reality mandates the need for a theory of marriage and marital therapy that incorporate distinctly Christian concepts.

Pastoral counseling is uniquely suited to marital therapy, especially in light of increasing evidence that therapy that is rooted in

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y, where children are raised cooperatively by both parents whose roles are determined by the time available, and the skills of each parent." Retirement is another major external crisis that can throw the marriage into discord due to lack of economic resources or the inability of the male who is retiring to define a new role identity for himself in relationship to his life and his partner. As one women complaining about her retired husband's lack of identity, "I married him for better or for worse, not for lunch!" This reflects her dissatisfaction over her husband's inability to find a new direction and meaning for his life outside of his career. This often happens in the male who has no role continuity once retiring. Retirement is particularly difficult when there is no role continuity. Retirement, particularly for men, can precipitate loss of role identitx, work-related responsibilities, and relationships. As Harway (1996, p. 88) observes, "The loss of these roles and relationships, whether from vocational pursuits or child rearing, challenges retirees to find new direction and meaning for their lives or face stagnation. The financial strain of retirement and the loss of family and friends represent stresses also." Couples

Category: Psychology -