ce of the speaker. Avoiding any form of judgment of what was being said made the speakerÆs feelings much more apparent than in the past when I used to form ideas about what was being spoken as opposed to truly listening. With respect to my own communication, I found that listening for feeling made me much less disinclined to interrupt the speaker, a bad habit of mine. By not making judgments or offering advice, I was able to allow the speaker to finish his thoughts in a respectful manner. Because of this, my comments afterward in response were more thoughtful, less emotionally-based, and better received by the other person.
5.1 One of the hardest parts of the HELP process was honor, as it was difficult for me to accept a habit I want to change without judging, blaming, and accusing myself. My problem is interrupting others. When I began to explore the problem the various steps of exploring made me feel better, seeing as there might be ways to resolve the issue. After making a long list of possible solutions, it was easier to propose a sound one. I decided to take off my favorite ring until a speaker finishes, and then replace it if I successfully listen without interrupting. Over time, I will hopefully acquire the habit and be able to forego this support mechanism.
5.2 Some of the interesting, helpful, and provocative questions I asked loved ones include: How can I be a better friend to you?, How may I love you more?, Why are you upset?, and What makes you feel she feels that way? Such open questions have expanded my conversations with others. These types of questions encourage the other speaker to formulate ideas and opinions and provide a response. In the past many times I would sit with another person and only ask or give yes or no questions or answers. These kinds of questions have also brought more closeness to my relationships because they demonstrate caring and support to others, who then return such gifts and...