e. But, it is not very humorous for the people who have to deal with an individual in denial. Although I was aware that I was consuming a lot of alcohol, and some drugs, I thought that I was just making up for lost time and sowing my wild oats. I did not think that I had a problem that needed to be addressed. Anyone who indicated that I might have a problem, I ridiculed. Anyone who persisted, however, I eliminated from my life. I did not want people to contradict my vision of reality.
However, my vision of reality was to be disturbed by my own actions, rather than anyone else's conversations. I proceeded on the same course, although periodically giving myself a drying-out spell in order to pursue work or other interests and just to "prove" to myself that I could not possibly have any problems with alcohol. Clearly, I could stop when I wished and I had control of the situation.
Then I lost my job at the time. The boss said that I was late most days, when I bothered to come in. He asked if I had a problem with alcohol, because He had noticed that I tended to miss work on Friday and Monday, which is a typical pattern for drinkers. He was sympathetic enough to care what happened to me, but not enough to keep me on the job when I was not productive and reliable.
After that, things seemed to go downhill. I had problems with family and friends and I did not seem to have anything very interesting in my life besides alcohol. That had lost its savor and fun, becoming more of a driving need. Finally, one night I actually got in a fight in a bar and got thrown out of the bar. Luckily, I did not get arrested or actually hurt anyone. Luckily, too, I did not hurt anyone when I drove myself home. I began to realize, however, that maybe there were some problems involved with my heavy alcohol use, but I was convinced that I could deal with them myself. I had the background and the early discipline. I was sure that I could s...