y pain that she was ultimately seeking but rather those moments of self-approval which she had confused with being able to withstand the psychoemotional pain associated with rejection.
This need for moments of self-approval and feelings of adequacy is, according to Bonime (1995), at the root of many interpersonal relationships that are predominantly painful (whether the pain arises from overt S-M behaviors or from the dissolution of the relationship, or from constant verbal arguments, or whatever). Thus, it is stated that to merely designate such people as having masochistic urges or tendencies is incorrect in that it implies that the ultimate and primary goal is pain when it is not.
Calogeras (1994) also connects consistent rejection or lost love attachments in intimate relationships to sadomasochistic urges; and in particular, these tendencies are connected to the childhood relationship with the father. It is noted that this pattern can arise if the father formed a sadomasochistic relationship with the child. This type of parent-child relations
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