Marriage Breakdown Factors

One of the most prevalent underlying factors in the breakdown of marriage is lack of communication. When communication ceases, marital growth deteriorates: "In many cases, one partner is so alienated by the spouse that empathy, sympathy, and even listening cease" (Friesen & Friesen, 1989, p. 9).

Prather (1995) attributes outside influences internalized by unwary couples as a major factor in the breakdown of marital relationships. Popular philosophies embrace a mindset known as "separation psychology." We live in a disposable society characterized by a willingness, under pressure, to abandon relationships: " . . . the therapeutic philosophy that so many have turned to justifies selfism and withdrawal and tends to characterize most loving efforts as symptoms of a pathology" (Prather, 1995, p. 5).

Separation philosophy purports to give its adherents power, assuming that power comes through distancing oneself. Therefore, during times of marital strife, partners assert themselves through separation, which often ultimately leads to divorce. In the jargon of separation psychology, couples "cease to maximize each other's growth," "need more space," or find themselves in relationships that "no longer work." Spouses who succumb to this mind

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self or herself as a miracle worker, but as a trustworthy person in whom the clients can rely for support during this difficult period of adjustment. Since counselors make decisions based on data, two important tools of diagnosis and assessment are tests and questionnaires. Standardized testing instruments should be used only if the counselor possesses appropriate training, however. Tests that are helpful in the understanding of the psychology and personality of the individual include: The Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI), The Millon Clinical Multiaxial Inventory (MCMI), The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), and The Taylor-Johnson Temperament Analysis (TJTA). These tests are generally administered at the beginning of the counseling relationship. Rating scales, inventories, and lists are instruments that can be filled out by clients on their own time, and are of immense utility for the pastoral counselor: "These instruments systematically elicit client's feelings, beliefs, values, interests, problems, desires, and history" (Friesen & Friesen, 1989, p. 44). An important technique in marriage counseling is to induce the counselees to recognize that the burden of healing their relationship lies with themsel
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