em can be said to be dysfunctional.
There is a sense in which even before people join together to form a family, they can be said to comprise an existing system in relationship. This is why I feel that a very important aid to a happy and successful marriage is pre-marital counseling.
Specifically, I believe that the success of a marriage can be maximized if the couples consider counseling prior to rather than after problems and conflicts develop in their marriage. This opinion is not new; indeed, as early as 1974, this point was made by Fairbanks who stated that pre-marital counseling would increase the likelihood of a successful marriage.
Fairbanks (1974) also delineated several factors which he felt that couples should consider prior to marriage. The factors mentioned included the couples': ages, educational level, income, nationality, race, and religion.
I believe that couples should look at their sociocultural differences and the issues that arise between them as a function of these differences. However, another important focus of pre-marital counseling should be exploration of the couples' expectations for marriage and the marriage partner.
Indeed, working on expectations should be an important part of pre-marital counseling because most married couples seek therapy for marriages due to unhappiness based on unfulfilled spouse expectancy. Further, the continuance of marital dysfunction is due to continual attempts to punish the other partner for not fulfilling their need-based expectations (Bergantino, 1985).
An examination of expectations for marriage and the marriage partner can help the couple work out and understand any unconscious motives that may be responsible for both their decision to marry and their selection of the marriage partner. With respect to the kind of examination counselors might make, I think it would be important for the counselor to act as an interruptor of discussion and ...