one by one, point out the hopelessness of the unrealistic expectation each partner has for the other. I believe that only when the futility of unrealistic expectations is realized, will each of the partners be able to become themselves and grow together in an authentic and realistic relationship.
Another element which I think pre-marital couples should discuss in counseling are those standards set by society defining failure, success, and happiness in marriage. Often it is precisely these standards that set couples up to hold unrealistic expectations.
I stated that my theory of marriage and family counseling is based on family systems theory. Therefore, it should be noted here that the existing research indicates that system theory is indeed applicable to pre-marital counseling. In this regard, Gilmour (1995) evaluated the responses of 20 subjects (10 engaged couples) regarding their feelings about their participation in a five-session premarital training program based on family systems theory.
...