Question 1: In the case of a high conflict divorcing couple, one of the tasks of the mediator is to assist clients in focusing on the impact of their divorce on their children. One should allow a minimal amount of discussion about interpersonal insights and issues from the past and make the clients aware that mediation is about the present and the future. Interpersonal relationship issues are relevant only to the extent that they affect the present and the future.
Given that the minor children of the couple are likely to be experiencing significant stress as a consequence of the parental conflict and the divorce decision, I would focus the attention of the parents on identifying the kinds of concerns that are likely to affect the well-being of their children. Working to increase the parties' willingness to view the divorce as it affects their children would be a key strategy in this mediation. Identifying children's financial, housing, emotional, and academic needs and concerns and the relative responsibilities of each parent for making children's transition as easy as possible should be emphasized.
Question 2. The situation in which a financially astute husband and an inexperienced and less informed wife present for mediation is ethically challenging. The wife's willingness to compromise her own financial interests in order to reduce the conflict of the divorce and her willingness to give up custody rights for her child suggest that she should be referred by the mediator to an attorney. The mediator cannot and should not give legal advice or comment on the fairness of the proposed settlement.
The mediator should facilitate communication between the parties and ask each party if they have discussed the settlement with an attorney. Both parties should be advised that seeking legal assistance is highly desirable. The mediator should also remain engaged and respect the ultimate decision of the wife should she c...