the important task of taking care of other vulnerable human beings.
The capacity for love is so important. Both parents must genuinely love themselves before there is any hope of a good experience in rearing a family. Self-respect and responsibility in meeting one's own needs comes first, followed by the love of one's spouse. This healthy, mature marital love is not that of a romantic nature but the emotional capacity to consider another's needs as much as one's own. Good, stable parents hold themselves and others in high esteem most of the time. Acceptance and tolerance of the many varieties of human nature help in the acceptance of the uniqueness of a child as it comes into the family.
Serious parents should ask themselves honest questions about their goals in deciding to have children. If the goal is the sincere desire to love and support a child in growth and health in every area of his life until he or she may live independently, then successful parenting is likely. Goals for parenting must be rather altruistic rather than selfish. If one wants to produce a miniature, better version of oneself, the child will not have an opportunity to unfold and discover his own nature. Children bitterly resent and may become crippled under the oppression of parents who impose their own styles on the delicate uniqueness of the child. Such a process produces unhappy, warped individuals who go on to reproduce further unhappy, warped individuals. Such is not the goal of responsible parenting.
Potential parents must have realistic ideas concerning the necessary adjustments involved in rearing a family. Newlyweds may honeymoon for years and not fully comprehend how the presence of a child changes the family routines, priorities, and schedules. A young father may resent the attention that the wife gives to the baby or child, and the young mother may resent the father's lack of understanding of the amount of energy it takes to take ...